By Robert Snow 

1845

When to his feet the skater binds his wings,

As of Jove’s messenger the poet sings,

He, like the hare, outstrips the Northern wind,

And casts, in doubling, a keen glance behind.

By art that to the frozen lake conveys

A glowing interest in winter days,

Before the gazer now he seems to fly,

Now with a backward stroke deludes the eye;

Precipitating curves on curves anew,

Retuning ever, to his centre true.

With air of noble ease, and swan-like grace,

He balances awhile in narrow space;

Then sweeps far round with power not shown before,

And on his crystal plain does all but soar.

Yet is his pastime brief; the solar heat

Grows strong; again the lapsing waters meet,

And to dull, plodding earth confine his daring feet.

I fell in love with the free skating clips shown endlessly in the weeks leading up to the Olympics in Milano Cortina. Specifically I was mesmerized by Ilia Malinin, Alysa Liu, and Maxim Naumov. I watched spellbound as they executed quad axels, back flips, and splits in the air all to beautiful music. I had fun watching Ilia’s creative performance inspired by Hope by the rapper NF two years ago.

And then…the Olympics. 

Alysa Liu took the gold with a breathtaking performance after years off the ice to experience normal life focusing on school, socializing, and traveling to Nepal. (Good for her!)

Maxim Naumov, the emotional favorite, didn’t win a medal but he won the hearts of all who watched his tribute to his parents/coaches who were killed in a plane crash just one year ago. His winning a place on the Olympic team was an odds-defying accomplishment. 

Ilia Malinin was the perfection everyone expected in his short program, performed to the music of a video game (Prince of Persia). 

And then came the men’s single free skate event; the one so many of us were waiting for. To see the “Quad God” thrill and enchant us. 

He chose to use his own voice and his own message for the music; something never done before. When interviewed prior to the big event he spoke about the importance of being 100% committed and focused when following a dream with a need to excel. His practice run through, while lackluster, was technically pristine.

When Ilia walked onto the ice for his big event, his demeanor seemed strong but once he took his first fall it all fell apart. His concentration was lost. He fell again. He popped three jumps (unexpectedly reducing the number of rotations while in the air – often caused by fear, nerves, or technical errors). It was clear he was in his head and not on the ice.

We’ve all been there.

We’ve all taken on a task, a job, an outing, a relationship, an educational goal and lost our focus. We’ve all fallen, “popped” our expectations, disappointed ourselves and others. Sometimes it’s a small, even inconsequential loss – a missed deadline at work, picking up falafel for the dinner there’s no longer time to prepare. Or it might be a bit larger – the forgotten birthday of a grandchild. It might have small consequences – hurt feelings, losing a client, having to take an exam over. Or it might have big consequences – a broken leg, divorce, going bankrupt, coming in 8th place instead of taking home the Gold at the Olympics.

Generally speaking, these kinds of losses are a result of being in our heads and losing focus of the task, job, outing, relationship, or goal of some other kind; just as Malinin explained his failure on the ice. “All the traumatic moments of my life really just started flooding my head.” He noted that “negative thoughts” flooded his mind, leading to a freeze response.

Sound familiar?

“I’m not good enough.”

“It won’t be good enough.”

“I fell last time I tried to hike this kind of trail. I won’t make it this time either.”

“I’m not really what he’s looking for. This relationship is doomed.”

Whether or not we could succeed at the task, job, outing, relationship, we’ve made it much less likely when we open the gates of our minds to these thoughts.

We fall. We pop. We disappear into a narrative that erases our potential…and our joy.

While the first Noble Truth states that “Life is suffering.”  The third Noble Truth encourages us by telling us exactly how to calm or even eradicate that suffering. And again here we can learn a lesson from Ilia, emulate his reaction to his loss, and reduce our suffering in the face of inevitable loss in our lives.

He explained that he’d decided to treat the experience (of loss) as a “lesson in humility” and vowed to “regroup for the future.”

I know a man who is currently lost in the loss of his 90+ year old father. He’s lost focus. He’s taking on strange new habits including absences from his family for odd stated reasons.

I know a young woman who has created a huge loss in her life based on events that may or may not have happened 30 years ago. The reality of her life today is covered over by a thick fog – suffering – that she is unable or unwilling to relinquish.

I’m blessed to know many, many more people who are able to let go of narratives of loss which have dominated their minds in a way that’s created chaos and suffering. 

May we all precipitate curves on curves anew

May we find the courage to return to our true center

With air of noble ease, and swan-like grace

And sweep far round with power not shown before.